These are my three hopes, dreams and aspirations for the New Year. 2018 was amazing…so much incredible design work that I took part in at my office, Studio for Spatial Practice, and so many memorable dance experiences…
New students in our Art in Motion family, teaching dynamic children and adults both at the studio and at Point Park.
Dance performances throughout the year including beautiful weddings, enriching cultural festivals, and both the Silk Screen and PSO galas.
Dancing with my studio partner and friend Luciana on more than one occasion!
Dancing with my talented Troupe Taraatha ❤️ and my great friend Jemeena!
Dancing with my daughter and seeing her unbridled love for dance!
With all of these wonderful experiences, I think I left myself a bit ungrounded and unable to be fully present in the moment..unfair to myself and others.
In 2019, I want to try my best to speak with compassion, to teach with patience and love, and to work fully grounded in the moment!
What are your hopes and dreams for the new year? Whatever they may be, I wish you peace, love and light in 2019!
The last 28 weeks have been interesting I must say. While I can not wait to meet the little one I am toting around, I have found my pregnancy challenging in so many ways.
I work full time, teach weekly dance classes as well as take them, run the Pittsburgh Bellydance Festival, and had been performing until a couple of weeks ago. Slowing down has never been in my vocabulary. And now? Yes, now I realize, I can not keep up like I used too, and it is incredibly hard, mentally, to accept.
Some of the immediate challenges that I have encountered include compromised balance, unexpected aches, pains and nausea, less trust in my body awareness, and a harder time breathing through my dance. I have had to adapt my teaching style to make sure I am not injuring myself while still making sure my students are getting the most out of classes.
More challenges? Costumes stopped fitting after only a few months even when barely showing. I am no longer able to use an intense workout as a way to relieve built up stress. I find this one actually the most difficult challenge to deal with and have yet to find a remedy that suits me.
Even more challenges?!?! Feeling extremely depressed and alone to have to sit it out on the sidelines even if I feel up to dancing. And perhaps, I think people are a little aghast and afraid to see a pregnant woman dance at times. Who knows…the maybe may pop out on our next hip bump? lol
Now after all of this complaining, one might ask, so what have you learned? Is there anything at all you can reflect positively on during this time? Yes, yes, there is. I decided to study baladi progressions again and am beginning to deeply root and ground myself into the dance. I have been exploring a variety of transitions and arm positions and instilling stillness in my dance, and stillness is a lesson I definitely need to learn.
I hope to be able to continue learning this lesson of patience as well. Truthfully, what is the hurry in life? I will be back in my costumes after a while. I will be able to dance full speed again soon. I will be able to resume my intense workouts to clear my head. I will be able to add back in my arabesques, samba jumps and leaps in no time, however how often do you have the chance to dance for two? How often can you force yourself to truly tackle the type of dance that you typically avoid? When do you take the time to sit in a pose or to work a move slowly, slowly, slowly? Not often! So here I am trying to embrace the remaining weeks and enjoy my latest phase of dance. I hope all of you can do the same!
It’s been awhile since I posted as just myself. I am in the midst of clearing out my desk at my job of 13 years and am preparing to move on to a new stage of my life, working with friends of mine who happen to be exceptional designers. I am excited to begin, feeling nostalgic of my time here, and full of joy for what lies ahead.
I am trying to create a new mindset for this new beginning and ran across these 10 rules of advice from painter Richard Diebenkorn. I love everyone of them and think they are appropriate to everyone, not just designers or dancers!
Notes to myself on beginning a painting
attempt what is not certain. Certainty may or may not come later. It may then be a valuable delusion.
The pretty, initial position which falls short of completeness is not to be valued — except as a stimulus for further moves.
Do search. But in order to find other than what is searched for.
Use and respond to the initial fresh qualities but consider them absolutely expendable.
Dont “discover” a subject — of any kind.
Somehow don’t be bored — but if you must, use it in action. Use its destructive potential.
Mistakes can’t be erased but they move you from your present position.
I am just back from the 2013 Miami Bellydance Convention. This is my second year participating in this large scale event, and this is the second year that I return home feeling incredibly inspired, completely overwhelmed, amazingly awed, depressed, and basically completely jumbled!
Why the contradicting emotions you ask?
The workshops (with Saida, Jillina, and Zoe) and shows were amazing, and the competition was intense. The entire event was extremely well organized and ran without a noticeable hitch. I learned so much in such a short time. However, with all of these amazing things happening around me, I still let the negative voices run rampant through my head.
Voices: You aren’t good enough to be here. You aren’t the right look. You haven’t practiced enough.
Rational me: Shut up voices.
and back and forth and back and forth…
So I came across this quote,
And I am going to choose to live by it for today. I am going to revel in the fact that I can teach what I learned to my amazing students. I am going to revel in the knowledge that this event will make me work harder for next year. I am going to revel in the understanding that with training and dedication, I can and will raise the caliber of my dance while still loving the journey!
Fifteen years of my early childhood training is in Chinese Kenpo, a martial arts form that focuses on joining the mind and body with each other so that movements can be executed correctly. More than anything, Kenpo was the way I learned to be in the moment, the now, from a very young age. When practicing defensive movements with a partner, if you are not paying attention to where you are or where your opponent is, you will most certainly be entertaining a few bumps, bruises, or worse!
I loved the moving meditations that we learned (katas). I loved that the longer I practiced and studied, the more I could understand where my body was, what my exact reach was, what every part of my body was capable of doing. When I practiced my katas, there was nothing else. Only me, the movement, and the ground that I touched or pushed off of throughout. I now realized katas allowed me to turn off my brain and to control my wandering thoughts. There were no regrets about the past or pondering about the future. There was only the NOW.
“Life is available only in the present moment.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Lately, I have been considering these old lessons in relationship to my dance practice. As a dancer, how can we truly be present in the moment? How can “the now” enhance our dance? Here are a few of my own thoughts on attaining mindfulness in my own dance and in my classes with my students.
1. When we practice our traveling steps, where our feet go, we go. It seems like an obvious statement, but it is too easily overlooked. Additionally, if we pay attention to where our weight is distributed, we know which foot is free to move forward or back. When you are feeling a disconnect and not sure where to go or what to do, return to your feet! Check how your feet are touching the ground right now..is it a full connection? Are you off-balance? A small adjustment in your grounding may be all you need to bring the wowza back to your performance.
2. Breathe in and breathe out. Focus only on the in and out of your breath. Now connect an inhalation and an exhalation to a movement. I teach this in class with extra-large horizontal hip circles. Breathe in deeply while raising arms up over your head and starting your hip circle to the front. Your hips are moving at the same rate that you are breathing in. Exhale and complete the second half of your circle. Did you puff out the air quickly and swing your hips around quickly? Did you slowly exhale and drag out the movement to match? Try varying your inhale and exhale speeds to see what dynamic textures that you can create!
3. Turn off the inner voices. When I used to take tai chi, our first exercise was to sink the mind down into the mind-body, which resided somewhere in your gut. This is useful when practicing dance because there is nothing worse than trying to learn a new combination while thinking of the 20,000 things you need to do this afternoon! Or performing at an event, and suddenly wondering, do you think the audience is bored? The mind-body is not thinking of the past or the future. The mind-body is fully engaged in the present and itself. It senses where you are and what each part of you is doing.
To put this into dance practice, when your mind starts to wander or you hear the critical voices, sink that mind down into your gut through a downward movement…perhaps a long series of slow and purposeful hip drops, down, down, down. Turn inward with your focus. Internal, stationary movements and isolations linked with our breathing can help to bring the focus back into the moment. Close your eyes. Let your movements build from one another, growing and traveling to other parts of your body. Flow like water from one movement to the next.
And with those helpful hints, I will leave you with the words of the late Bruce Lee.
Empty your mind, be formless. shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.–Bruce Lee
And if you enjoyed this post or have any questions, please feel free to contact me!